Take a look at me

I turn 33 years old in 39 days. Ten years ago I did not see myself where I am today. Currently with a job I hate, taking classes to get a degree I am completely unmotivated for, morbidly obese, dealing with PCOS, and consistent pain associated with my condition.  I am sad more than not lately and I am tired of my surroundings.  I can honestly say my spirit is broken and I do not know if I have the will or want to fix it.  I remember when I was young and couldn't express myself verbally I would write.  Sometimes you need to vent, not be judged, not be "saved", not be fixed, just to be listened to......even when there is no one there.  Sometimes a problem has to linger before it is able to be fixed.  Sometimes a problem is not fixable.  Writing is a therapy that had been pushed aside in my adolescence and now I  will use it as my tool for acceptance of what I am currently dealing with.  I intend to use this blog for my personal sound boards, mostly to release my tensions, fears, pains, anger and desires, but also to use as reflections for growth and maybe open it to assist others.  These are my feelings in their rawest form so if by chance I have invited you to this  page of my life please do not be offended by what I write. 

~Toya