Time for HSG & Endo Biopsy

I will be leaving work today at 1pm.  That damn medicine I had to take yesterday and today is making me sick....YUK!  Overall I am pretty relaxed...don't know where that came from....but it is a welcomed feeling. This is going to be a hectic week.  I have my glucose test tomorrow morning at 7am.....and then I work from 10:30-7:30...very long day.  Oh well off to the doctors office I go.

First time for everything

So today marks the end of my period.  This day will go down in history because I have NEVER had a 7 day menstual cycle without the assistance of medication.  So this is truely a blessing.  I have my HSG scheduled for Tuesday.  Got to remember to take my antibotics on MondayI have my fasting labs and ovary testing on Wednesday.  I am broke but will try to enjoy this holiday weekend.  Happy Memorial Day!

Responses

I got quite a few responses from me sharing my blog with my family.  Some was tearful, some was worried, one was actually greatful for the opportunity because it shed reflection on their own situation, but most importantly all the responses was covered with love and support.  I may have alot of days where I feel lonely and damned, but at the end of the day I am truly blessed to have these women in my life. 

The PCOS Workbook: Your Guide to Complete Physical and Emotional Health

I will be opening my blog soon.  For family and friends who want to share in my journey.  I am private but I dont want to shut the people I hold close to me out.  I think this blog will be a whole lot easier for me to relay information or updates about my condition then calling several people each week with bad, worse, or devastating news. 

The title above is the name of a book I brought this week on my Kindle.  I read it cover to cover in less than two days.  Great source of detailed information regarding what my condition is, where it comes from, what damage it does and how to live with it.  Yes there is no cure for what I have, it's a condition I am born with, however I can get my symptoms under control slowly but surely.  Now it's time to shop for my next resource.

Different Day Different Attitude

Im thankful for my blog.  It allows me the opportunity to document my bad and good days and later go back and review.  It offers an outlet for my emotional rollercoaster.  My common sense and faith will always prevail but during those weak and hurting moments I just need release.  I am thankful to be alive, I am thankful for my family and friends, I am thankful to have the ability to walk, talk, and just be of my own accord.  Yes I feel I have had more than my fair share of the grime in this world but I have to deal with the hand that GOD has dealt me.  My cousin constantly reminds me that I am the one who prays for strength...what better way to get it than to struggle.

Bad Day Rant

Today is just a bad day. I'm angry and I'm tired. I wanna lash out I feel alone. I hate having no control, I hate that this is happening to me. I hate that I can't fix this, I can't enjoy life, I'm broke, and no immediate financial relief is in sight. This syndrome is taking everything from me, my beauty, my skin, my figure, and suppleness. I find myself becoming more and more bitter.  If I was judgemental before, call me killer now because I have something to about every situation out here that provides a child for other people with ease.  People who dont have common sense, people who dont recognize the blessings, people who carelessly "get rid" of their problems, people who dont care for or abuse their children.  THIS right here adds to my frustration.  Am I just to dumb to see the blatant signs from GOD telling me I suck as an individual and dont deserve such a blessing as a child.  I don't recognize myself anymore....

Procedure #....oh I forget what number I am on

So I am scheduled for a HSG on Tuesday May 31, 2011.  I had one of these back in 2008.  Also have to get my glucose testing done and my endometrial biopsy.  I am just a walking pin cushion. 

THIS JUST IN...

Ok positive thoughts go out of the window.  My doctor just confirmed that my pregnancy with the twins caused damage to my right tube....and my left one looks blocked.  First kick to the gut followed by an upper cut to the chin.  All cycles for ovulation have been put on hold.  She still wants me to have a menstrual this month so I will start the pills to induce that.  I have labs this week so we will see....now back to your regularly scheduled program.

I wonder sometimes if my main obsession with having a child is because I know I can't. Its very hard to stay positive. I mean I'm infertile and fat, growing hair where there should be none and getting these dark spots all over. All of my complexion is darkening. Not to mention all of the screenings I have to do with this damn Syndrome....UGGHHH!   Can I get a break?

Cycle 2 starts tomorrow. Apparently femara alone won't make my follicles grow. Start the provera tomorrow.....positive thoughts.