und. I'm gonna do the best I can to stay positive. We are waiting to see what my labwork says and then we are sitting down to discuss our next step.

10 days before the mothers day race for the cure. I just left the doctors office and my follicles are not growing...little sad but hey this is my 1st ro

Early Easter Morning to you. I am at the doctors office and I am emotionally even. Mike came with me today even though all he is doing is sitting in th

e lobby:-) Gotta love him for getting up early on a Sunday Morning. Stay Tuned for the results.

Education Entry....for my family & friends who dont know what PCOS is.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/polycystic-ovary-syndrome/DS00423

Poly-cystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age. The exact cause of poly-cystic ovary syndrome is unknown, however signs and symptoms vary from person to person, in both type and severity. To be diagnosed with the condition, your doctor looks for at least two of the following: 

• Menstrual abnormality ~failure to menstruate for four months or longer; and prolonged periods that may be scant or heavy.
• Excess androgen ~ Elevated levels of male hormones may result in physical signs such as excess facial and body hair adult acne or severe adolescent acne; and male-pattern baldness.
• Polycystic ovaries ~ Enlarged ovaries containing numerous small cysts
• Infertility ~ because the insulin resistance causes infrequent ovulation or a lack of ovulation
• Obesity
• Prediabetes or type 2 diabetes ~ women with polycystic ovary syndrome are insulin resistant, which impairs the body's ability to use insulin effectively to regulate blood sugar. This can result in high blood sugar and type 2 diabetes. Prediabetes is also called impaired glucose tolerance.
• Acanthosis nigricans ~ medical term for darkened, velvety skin on the nape of your neck, armpits, inner thighs, vulva or under your breasts. This skin condition is a sign of insulin resistance.

 My thought:  I hit the jackpot on this one.  I have every single symptom listed.....if only winning the lottery was this easy.  

A new day

OK I can admit I am extremely emotional....so you can imagine my surprise when I received a call from my nurse saying that even though my ultrasound yesterday didn't show any follicles that my estrogen levels are high and LH & Progest are low....which means my follicles are still growing.  YAY!!!!  I return to get more labs and ultrasound this Sunday @ 8:30am.  

On another note today is a much needed change of routine. Me and my loving partner are off to see a free screening of  "Bridesmaids" http://www.bridesmaidsmovie.com/ The trailer is hilarious I am so looking forward to laughing :)

Unknown Quote: Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

My First Cycle with Femara

Today was my appointment to see if the Femara induced follicles for ovulation.  The answer is a big fat no.  It is amazing how going in today I didn't think I would take this news so emotionally.  Actually I didn't know what to expect, however today my disappointment associated this to always having to work hard or fight for things in my life.  NOTHING has ever come easy and I truly believe I have reached my point of exhaustion. I would love to go home and nurse my feelings in bed for the day, but that is not my reality.  I really think one of the worst parts of this is that I don't have chocolate and wine to support me on this journey.  Thinking positive didn't work today.

Anonymous Quote: “Millions of couples suffer from infertility, so why is everyone pregnant but me?”

Take a look at me

I turn 33 years old in 39 days. Ten years ago I did not see myself where I am today. Currently with a job I hate, taking classes to get a degree I am completely unmotivated for, morbidly obese, dealing with PCOS, and consistent pain associated with my condition.  I am sad more than not lately and I am tired of my surroundings.  I can honestly say my spirit is broken and I do not know if I have the will or want to fix it.  I remember when I was young and couldn't express myself verbally I would write.  Sometimes you need to vent, not be judged, not be "saved", not be fixed, just to be listened to......even when there is no one there.  Sometimes a problem has to linger before it is able to be fixed.  Sometimes a problem is not fixable.  Writing is a therapy that had been pushed aside in my adolescence and now I  will use it as my tool for acceptance of what I am currently dealing with.  I intend to use this blog for my personal sound boards, mostly to release my tensions, fears, pains, anger and desires, but also to use as reflections for growth and maybe open it to assist others.  These are my feelings in their rawest form so if by chance I have invited you to this  page of my life please do not be offended by what I write. 

~Toya